beautiful river…flooding river

The day was illumined by sunlight, and the wind had blown the clouds away. I was filled with the desire to go out and see my river…..a river still in its banks….flowing quietly on its way to the sea. I was still aware of those rivers that are raging out of control, and of giant waves rising out of an ocean that have been ruthless to many, sparing to others, but certainly not kind to anything in its way. Nature has this indifference in its rhythms of create and destroy. Wipe it out and start again. This is how it works.
My heart whispers to me that the ever constant moon is sometimes eclipsed, and the sun has solar flares that leave our transmissions in the dark.

I have never seen the river so quiet….so still…..the ducks and geese were gathering around what was left of the ice formations. There were rings of ice around the fingers of the branches, like glistening rings…frozen beauty formed in the thaw like a symbol of the union of the tree and the river and winter.

I whispered…..And he leadeth me beside the still waters and restoreth my soul. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of the death, I will fear no evil. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.
Who are my enemies?
They are within each one of us, and they have many faces. We form our enemies and give them names and faces, and we anoint ourselves through our own rituals, and our cup runneth over with whatever we fill it with. The beloved is within us and has many faces, or we are empty.

We have a choice.
Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of our lives, and we will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Whose goodness and mercy? Who is the Lord? Who can define an unknown and unseen Creator?
We may learn to use the same terms, the same names to describe our journey, but who is determining our highest reality?
Do we make ourselves victims or co-creators…or do we think we are God?

If God has the option of being God of All Creation, does God choose to reign in all His or Her Glory, or give us a taste of Love…….a divine kiss…….and meet us with mercy and share our experience of being human…….does God experience what it means to watch everything ripped away? What happens when we do?
Everything that happens to us gives us one more experience to choose who we are
and who we will be.
We are the captor and the one captured. We are the winner and the loser. We are the king and the beggar. We are the male and female. We are the sun and the moon and the stars and the emptiness…..the dark and the light. We are the wound and the healing. How could we not be?

I can remain outside of disaster and not personalize it, or I can feel the sting of being powerless and being a victim, or I can choose love in the middle of a most indifferent disaster. Who do we want to be? Why me? Why them? How do I stay out of the way of what I fear?

What if the gifts of one would make a better world? Should I honor one life over others? Every day, every moment, we are given a choice. Is it evil to choose to live, or evil to choose to die? Is it evil to take our life? Is it evil to take another’s life? We are shown the opposition and exception to every rule.
We are shown the right over the wrong, and the wrong over the right, the head choice and the heart choice, and governing dominion of the soul. What do we choose? or not choose? Do we just let it happen and see?

What is it to live without feeling? How does it feel to live beyond life as it happens every moment? What influences how we choose? We choose to stay out of reach so we don’t hurt, and we plunge into life to feel alive. What would we choose if we had the choice? What is one person’s pleasure is another person’s pain. The opposites flash their appeal and entice us to try this and that, and then say, which is it? Which will you choose? Then the veil is removed, and it is not who we thought at all. The illusion steals our life, and it also gives us great pleasure.

What would Jesus do? What would God do? What would Buddha do? What would a saint do? What would a fallen angel do? Who are you? What is your purpose?
What would the prophet do? What would Lucifer do? What would Krishna do? What would the Beloved do?
What will I do? What will you do?

The quality of our days is defined by our choices. No, I am a victim, what happened to me made me like this. Someone else is to blame. What happens when an innocent child is caught in the flood…..what does it mean when hundreds drown? Who is to blame? What do we believe will happen to that child? Where have all the people gone?

What would Love do? How would indifference affect what I choose…a superior distant wisdom….how would it guide us?

Only we can choose using what information we have or out of a compassionate heart…..or out of a brilliant mind…..or out of the generosity of a philanthropist….or out of the love of a friend, who we don’t want to be without.
We intervene on the part of the innocent and uninformed as much as we can to give them this golden chance to choose. We save them…..and sometimes they choose to die….and go off to fight in a war we don’t believe in. What is right? Suddenly, right becomes wrong. The shades of gray are infinite.

We live many lives in a single day…..or we live the monotonous sameness. Which is it, or is it both, or all of it? The human condition….the divine birthright….are we an atom or Adam? Today this, tomorrow that? Are we the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, or are we different every moment?

Looking for the bottom line? The ultimate wisdom? There is none. It changes as we hold it in our hand…….sprouts wings……and flies away.

If someone says… have to be this…forever……or else… as fast as you can….for it is your life to live…..or not. Don’t run, stay and obey and make someone else happy. You choose. Both can feel good in different ways.

Being in ecstasy is heaven, and so is being numb at times. Pour the wine and get drunk on beauty, or love a wrinkled face and get a free pass to heaven.
One has to hurry home to clean, and the other has to run away to freedom.

Meet you in the garden…….and tell me how your day was…and I will tell you about mine.

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